I just love to grab a few friends, go to the cyber cafe and play games like Warcraft III/DOTA, Counter Strike and such. It's really fun until monsters show up and ruin your day ...
1) The TK-n00b
Noobs : a slang for newbie. This is the one of those people that are totally new to the game and end up costing you the game because they are totally inexperienced. Not really problem, being a noob isn't bad. Everyone starts as one. Even losing is cool as long as the n00b understands his position and tries to better himself. A good noob should be going like " Guys, I don't think I can handle this. I need some backup" and after the match should go " So, where did I go wrong ? How should I play next time ? " Every now and then, you end up meeting a Team Killer-Noob (TKN). You see, TKNs are the noobs that , when they play Counter Strike, shoot their teammates as soon as they completed buying their weapons. You pause the game and explain that when the game starts, your entire team starts at the same point and he shouldn't shoot them. THIS IS NOT HALF-LIFE, YOU HAVE A TEAM , you scream at him. He smiles sheepishly as you restart the game upon which he proceeds to buy a para-machine gun and shoots everybody down because " he panicked when he saw movement, and he didn't know how to stop shooting". He also lobs in a grenade when the 4 members of your team have a single weaponless terrorist cornered, causing all of you and the bad guy to die. As you slump in your seat in resignation you will probably see him going " I got him, I got him .. did you see that ? Huh ? Did you ?" A variation of this would be the Ultra Team Killer Noob would do and say the same thing but with an added " I totally own ! I am GOD ! "
2) Cheaters
These kind of players are regarded as the scum of the earth amongst the multiplayer community. These are the lard-asses that copy in some map-hack files and stuff and use it to blatantly cheat and win. They use maphacks to look through walls , you will normally realise this when you are playing Counter Strike (CS) , you are sitting in a room and suddenly you are dead with no idea where the sniper was ... later after dying like 20 times in a row to similar situation you realise that you've been shot through the wall all the time. When you look at the perps screen you'll see that he is using a cheat.
3) Crap Ass Lamers
These guys are crappy at a game. They are so crap that the local sewage treatment authorities are out looking for him . When he plays normal games at home, he has to constantly cheat ( he calls it tweaking the game) to win. He has probably never ever won a game by himself. Instead of trying to improve himself he just get better and more powerful cheats and thinks he owns big time. These people think that they are good .... damn good.
The problem arises when they play games with you. These are the people who when they play DOTA, rush single handedly at the defence tower. As the defence tower starts shooting him you tell him to pull back .. He goes " I know what I am doing" and continues to rush at it. Probably half way to the tower he dies , giving the opponents gold and experience points. You stare at him with a " what the F*** was that ? " look and he replies " I just wanted to regain my mana points" (presumably by dying and respawning).
These are also the guys that chase an enemy straight into a trap and dies like in 1 seconds while getting a single hit and than claims " Man I was so close to killing him". When you check up the guy that was allegedly so close to dying , you see him running around at almost full life and mocking you ....
4) The Late Ones
These are the guys that come 1 hour later than the pre-agreed time. As you host a new game and wait for them you'll notice that they wont join in. A quick peek at their screen would reveal that they are chatting, checking their e-mails or looking for porn on the net. Sigh ...
5) The Fake-n00b
These are real bastards. They will attempt to join in a game and claim that they are newbies. You explain that you are all just picking up the game and dont want to play against professionals. They assure you that they are new players as well and just want to try playing. You let them join and then you start the game, after which the aforementioned "n00b" goes to pawn everyone , steal kills and uses cheap ungentelmanly tactics on people. Then to rub salt into your wounds they will start to type (in capitals) : " I AM SOO GOOD. YOU PEOPLE SUCK ! they then contined to brag until kicked out .....
Getting lazy to type anymore. My McD's delivery should be here soon .. love the Grilled Chicken Foldever. Yum ... See ya all
-Diesh |
