Saturday, 13th May, 2006. On this day the dark riders will converge upon the "Warzone" cybercafe in Seremban, Malaysia. Held in thrall by the soul sapping, blood-lust inducing Defense of the Ancients: Allstars custom map.

So too shall I my descent upon the field of battle take place, for challenge has been made against me by Warlock, and so we shall do battle. So shall your cries echo across cyberspace. So shall you crumple in defeat before me. So shall you beg for mercy that will never be granted. All shall gather around your fallen form and silently honour you for you bravery.

It's natural to contemplate the divine and the terrible, especially when confronted with my awesome power. Robert Oppenheimer looked at the first mushroom cloud and thought of these lines from the Bhagavad-Gita:

I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.

So do I repeat these lines to you....

Look to the north, from there I shall ride. I am coming for you.
____________________________________

Now for the trash talk....

I will beat you so bad you'll feel like I screwed you missionary style and came inside!

I will beat you so bad you'll think Tom Cruise is hot!

I will beat you so bad you'll need to dope up on viagra just to urinate!

I will beat you so bad you anus will feel like a train just went through it!

I will beat you so bad you'll need a sex change operation to face yourself in the mirror!

I will beat you so bad, and then I will pee on you. Pee Pee Pee!!! I'll make sure to drink lots of coffee to make it special for you Warlock.

For you, the day Magnus peed on you was the greatest day of your life. But for me.....it was Saturday.