Since there are a lot of sucky games out there , I thought out a few more sucky games for those who are looking for new ideas and gameplay mechanics to kill the average mind ... HEre they are free of charge.
GT Mechanic - Here you play as a pit stop crew for those Gran Turismo racers. You get to (hold your breath) change tires for the cars that comes into the pit stop ! Wow .. that is sooo cool ! If you manage to change tires fast enough , you'll probably get into a 'Challange Screen' where you get to play some dancing game with the race queen (think Dance Dance Revolution). Every now and then a different type of car comes in that you have never handled before (of course, since you only change tyres it makes no difference to you) You also have a special button which, when you press, will allow you to go into a slow-mo mode where both the game and you move in slow motion speed allowing you to fully appreciate the tyre textures. When you change too many tyres and fail too many of the dance routines you will get 'stressed'. When your character in the game gets 'stressed' you will start seeing strange things like dancing pink elephants in pink bloomers (the Japanese ones, not the Victorian age ones .. though with their pronounciation would it shoud be written as Buruma ) Eventually when you get stressed enough you will have a special option to commit suicide by lying down under one of the cars that you just changed tires. If you do well you get to leave your virtual wife and marry a Race Queen of your choice. The actual process of getting the divorce is handles through a new innovative game engine where you automatically lose everything you have unless you can prove that the 'wife' in the game has been having an affair with someone , for this you will be given a clue .. tyre marks on your driveway .. you have to match this with the cars that you change tyres for to find the culprit. If you are able to guess correctly the divorce will not leave you bereft with everything , you'll get the six-packs in the fridge and also ALL OF YOUR CLOTHES !!! Cool huh ... This game supports the use of a driving wheel but it doesn't do anything except allows you to rotate the screen.
The Wife - This is a RTS (real-time strategy) where you have to juggle resource management, unit production (read : kids) and other weird and mundane stuff (like burning rugs). The idea here is to run a family while making sure your units (read : kids ) don't get destroyed. You have to control the main character in the game , The Mother and use her to feed the kids, change the diapers, clean up the house, settle arguements between childrens, pick up toys on the floor, do the laundry, fetch beer for the useless couch-potato husband, create new family-subunits ( read : kids) cook breakfast, read bedtime stories, lunch and dinner and of course handle a career (probably as a neurosurgeon who is on call 22 hours a day). Every now and then diasaster will strike and you have to deal with issues such as teen pregnancy, juvenile delinquncy, the occasional cheat-husband and divorce. The pace of the game will be fast and furious and is not recommended for males as their head might just blow up when they play it.
World Of Craft - This is a MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) here you get to create a character and role play it online. You can choose from a multitude of unique races such as 'Humans', 'Fat Ugly Green Guys', 'Undead Skeletal Looking Bulimics', 'Practically Unclothed Amazon Woman' and even 'Weird Looking Unnamed Race'. In this game you choose a race and a character class (this is like a job like Bartendering, Shoemaking, Couch-Potatoing and stuff like that) .. after that you have to work for a living. Constantly clicking on the mouse earns you Gold Peices which you can use to upgrade your skills to .. well ... do more work faster. The cool thing here is the interaction between all the online people , you'll be able to trade for 'services' (The 'Practically Unclothed Amazon Woman' race have a multitude of 'services' to offer as they cannot hold a regular job .. it's a game restriction to make the races unique). They can also chat, make alliances and even get married in the game. It all depends on how you communicate .... for example a Level 25 'Fat Ugly Green Guy' who has the character class of 'Office Clerk' named Joe Nolife who has saved enough money will advertise that he is looking for a suitable partner. Then he will not get any replies for days. Instead if he additionally mentions that he has like 5 million Gold Pieces stashed in his account he will suddenly be swamped with a variety of e-mails for chat requests. He then chooses sexybritanny80@woc.com and chats with her and finally agrees to marry her as she is a level 1 'Practically Unclothed Amazon Woman' and needs his help to 'level' up. ('She' is actually in fact Siriuz who also convinces Joe Nolife to send him tickets so that 'she' can come visit him in person cause he 'fascinates her' .. oh and make sure the tickets are business class) |
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