Sorry all, u are all ears today.........any comments and suggestions are welcomed and appreciated.
It's just lately that i m somewhat disappointed with one of my fren here. We all got along well at first, and then when we all got closer to each other. When we got closer, we pour out our heart's content most of the time. We see him as our lil' brother. That is a good thing to boot. But things also started to change at this time. Basically, when u r close with someone, teasing each other is just a norm. It's perfectly normal, just that we make sure we never crossed the 'border'. But this fren of ours is not very good at judging the border. He just blatantly make comments which in certain turn of events may pierce our heart downright. His words are also full of thorns. He doesnt take my words seriously most of the time, well, maybe i m a game geek and most of the conservative people will never take game geek seriously. But he is no conservative human being. This totally eludes me. Of late, he is not interested in most of the things i said. It's just a normalcy when we go out for a drink and then we just chat on whatever topic we can think of. Whenever i said something that i like (hobby, gals etc), either he likes it or not, he will tease me and drenched me with icy cold water. It's a sad thing that even if u dun support me, please, pretty please dun drench me with cold water or pull me down. Silence is the best treatment. Now i have run out of topic to discuss with him. I just dunno what to talk anymore. Not to mention the thing that i hate most, "DOUBLE STANDARD". The words pretty much sums up everything, need i explain more? He seems to be adopting the idea well lately and that flustered me. I have been hinting a lot of time already but it's futile. It's not fair if i get irritated with him because he does not do this on purpose. All i can say is i m truely disappointed in him.........I think he notices this too. About the impression of the rest of my frens on him, i m not sure. Or should i say i cant tell. It's not my nature to poke into others personal matter, although i do know something or two. Ah, i feel better now after venting out my frustration and disappointment. hhahahahaha. Thanks for being a good listener.............er.............reader? |
At 3:21 PM,
Oh man, that has got to suck. Having friend like that. Reminds me of someone I used to know. He will tease and make fun of people but when you do the same to him , he'll blow his top !
I don't know how to handle this kind of person. I think this is caused by the fact that the relationship has deteriorated to the point that the guy thinks it's fun to break you down. Probably caused by a "i'm better than you complex" ... sigh.
I feel sorry for you man, it's tough having people that don't care about how you feel and just say crap. Poor Kavi also had this problem, I wonder if she'll have any good advice.
Maybe you can have a man to man talk and tell him how his comments are really irritating. Or even better make up some ground rules like don't make fun of topic A , or i'll rip out your balls and feed it to goats. Good luck
At 5:14 PM,
Just kick the guy out lah. I don't have friend like that before but I can imagine how hard it can be.
At 5:18 PM,
ahhh, i dunno what to do now. if not for we were close fren, this issue can be solved so easily; i walk out of his life and vice versa. But he is one of my close buddy, sorta like lil bro, it's hard just to ditch him like that. He did say if we felt anything wrong, just let him know. But i find it hard to open my mouth this time, everytime i try, my mouth just clamp up. i m utterly lost right now.
At 5:21 PM,
Then is not little bro anymore or close friend anymore. Friendship is develop in 2 ways. If you find it hard to open mouth to him. Something is wrong.
At 6:37 PM,
about teasing part, he is sporting one, can take jokes, provided that we dun go over the limit lo. he can take jokes. just that his jokes some go overboard. i think i should leak to him lo.
At 6:38 PM,
thanks all ^^ appreciate ur comments and suggestions. more are welcomed ^^
At 8:09 PM,
adole ,first of all ,here's a big warm hug for you.. *huggy* .. because ive been through this before and know how bad it sucks..
i think the mistake i made ,was to allow such jokes from the beginning.. people tend to start thinking its funny to poke such jokes at you..and even funnier when you get angry at them..
i kept thinking "nola she doesnt mean it that way" and blablabla and after a few years , things blew so out of proportion that we could no longer stand on equal grounds.. you either talk to him now or risk holding it in and having everything being slapped back at you..
probably a bit different for me.. being a girl i was a bit more emotional about all of this.. and being a bitch ,she was more than willing to poke mean jokes at me.. anytime,anywhere..
and shawn has a point.. if you really see him as a lil bro or anything , there should be enough understanding between the two of you..such that you can be honest with each other and not worry about the other being offended.. :)
well..good luck .. hehe
At 9:02 AM,
thanks for all the suggestions!! anyway, i confided and everything seems ok. phew.....i had a bloody good night sleep. Seems like the burden has been lifted from my entire body. phew...i think everything gonna be ok, still have to check things out. Seems so far so good last nite.
muakz u all!!!!
At 9:07 AM,
Sigh. I feel like such a latecomer to this post.
Look man. You can't say that you guys are so close like lil bro and stuff BUT you just can't communicate. There's no easy way to deal with something like this, its either
A) You accept that this friendship is over based on the fact that this person causes you more grief than happiness; or
B) You have a long and frank conversation with him about your issues. Don't be like Kavi and bottle it up and make excuses :D
I've been through similar experiences myself and it always boils down to these 2 options. I have a chat with the person and if he/she can't be bothered to take what I have to say seriously even though I say I'm being serious then its bye bye, because let's face it a true friend would care.
Plus its a sad but true fact that friendships are born and friendships die. Sometimes people just grow apart, people change. Sometimes dead friendships are reborn.
I remember that when I went off to college in KL I pretty much totally lost touch with Warlock, Siriuz and Arc, even though we used to hang out all the time during highschool. But now, I se the buggers (cept for Arc) almost every weekend :P
At 9:59 AM,
Thanks magnus.
yea, i havent been in touch with Warlock and the gang for quite sometime even though their MSN are on. But now since i started to blog her, it brought us closer again, just like old time ^^. The sensation is indescribable. Hope in dec, we can all play DOTA together, hehhe, i wan to own warlock, i better get practicing, intensive one.
At 10:18 AM,
haha magnus i dont always bottle things up okay.. not when it comes to you at least :P