From days of long ago,
From uncharted regions of the universe,
Comes a legend,
The legend of Warlock,
A mighty roboto,
Loved by Good,
"Loved" by Evil........
In the beginning there was nothing. Nothing is defined as not being something. So therefore, in the beginning there were grad students, busy playing "Titan Quest" in nothing but their undies, waging merciless wars and swinging their +5 Battle Swords with 15% Fire Damage.
All was chaos and the women, spurned by the grad students for wide-eyed two-dimensional anime girls with penises, cried out for someone to sleep with them.
And so it came to pass that Ahmegdondo the Great Turtle of Zimbabwe descended from up high or down below and unleashed a mighty purge from his bowels. Thus was the universe born.
At least 100 years later...
A young man in the erotic throes of casting his die to determine if his character would be shorn in the rectum by a +3 Helmet of Intimidation wearing Kobold. Would this be his end, doomed to wait around aimlessly in the hopes a kindly Cleric would pass him and cast a resurrection spell.
With a gigantic blast, he felt his body quiver with waves of pleasure no woman or man could ever provide him....pleasure that quickly evaporated and was replaced with horror......the rectum would be shorn.
Weeks later, this young man, tired of being classed as a sweaty Half-Orc Barbarian with mild homo-erotic dancing abilities, he made a decision that would change his life forever. Flipping through the rulebook, he discovered an ancient class of winged para-demon, a creature so horrible that merely looking upon it would paralyze both mind and other happy parts for all eternity.....or at least until it was done eating you.
What was more exciting was that the young man learned that the only way to play as this class of character was to cover himself with guano, wear his underwear over his head, and stand naked at a busy crossroad in the heart of Capital City.
Then he changed his mind and decided to become a Warlock instead and Power Word Killed himself by accident. Now he wanders through the realms of cyberspace performing sexual favours for any brave soul that will attempt to restore him.
Sadly...only the power of the twin Gems of SP3 can restore him
The end.......for now..........or perhaps not..............ok maybe.......hah I'm just screwing with you....time for my medication. |
At 1:02 AM,
Bastard !!
wait, this is actually more interesting that anything I would have written ... hmmm .. I'll just adopt this as my story.
:P
At 4:27 PM,
nice one magnus.. haha!