By sheer coincidence a friend of mine sent me this forward today and I'm sure most of the bloggers will find this amusing, especially those of you who use public transport:
Statistics have been compiled, research has been conducted, relatives
have been consulted, the gossip aunties (their big hips clad in colorful
and bright golden sarees) have actually, for ONCE agreed.
We present to you the characteristics that classify the THREE major Indian
groups (or perhaps, castes?) that exist in Malaysia . The REGULARs,
HIP-HOPPERs & MACHAs & nb sp;
1) REGULAR
Definition: Comprises a mere 7-10 % of the total population of Indians in
Malaysia . Found in well-developed parts of the cities spread throughout
the peninsular. (none have been found in Sabah & Sarawak as yet)
Characteristics include:
1. Speaks English as their 1st language.
2. Do not know how to (or just dont) speak their mother tongue.
3. Prefer to identify themselves by sub-group rather than the plain Indian
(ie-malayalee, Ceylonese, telugu, sikh, north indian etc)
4. Use s the internet more than the other 2 groups combined.
5. Swears off, criticises and ridicule those who watch tamil/hindi movies
and/or dramas
6. Instead, watches the OC, MTV and other American sitcoms
7. Thinks that the REGULAR group is way larger than it actually is and
constantly makes fun of the other groups, in particular the MACHA group.
Why? Because it's fun.
8. Aspires to be a doctor. Those who do medicine will eventually do so at
UK/Australia, but will normally end up taking mo re than the required six
years to complete the degree due to excessive failure.
9. Despises Samy Vellu.
Recent studies have shown that there is a growing splinter group within the
REGULARs knows as the IPWTTANI (Indian People Who Think They Are Not
Indians). This growing sub-group is considered the elitist by some and is
found to make the occasional statements like "I wish I were in the UK "
and/or "This never happened when I was studying in Australia ". They often
speak in unidentifiable accents. The women/men of this group also prefer to
date white men/women f rom foreign countries with the excuse that local
men/women "just don't understand me". Many secretly desire to be taken away
to live in a Bollywood film with a happily-ever-after ending.
2) THE HIP-HOPPERS
Definition: The 2nd major group of Indians, the HIP-HOPPERS comprises about
20-30% of the population of Indians. Normally living in urban areas of
cities, the HIP-HOPPERS, as their name suggests, can never be found where
they actually come from, but rather in clubs, bars, pubs etc. Many secretly
desire to be like the REGULARS but just do n't make the cut.
The characteristics of the HIP-HOPPERS are:
1. TRY to speak English as their 1st language.
2. Their actual 1st language is Tamil.
3. Openly desire to be blacks (waddap dawg?)
4. Hair not in original colour
5. Have unknown hand movements and slangs that are supposedly cool that
supposedly go well together with their normal attire of FUBU jerseys and
baggy jeans (that are more often than not b ought in Petaling
Street/ChowKit)
6. Are famously known to shorten their names to suit their lifestyles (ie.
Sam, for Muthusamy and Amber for Ambikadevy)
7. Large quantities (almost all) found in Jalan Telawi of Bangsar (though,
to be fair, many REGULAR groups are found here too)
8. Parents want them to be doctors. Many end up studying medicine in
Russia/Ukraine because they refus e to go to India and cannot afford
UK/Australia. Those who go to India may eventually switch camps to the
MACHA group.
9. Despises Samy Vellu.
The HIP-HOPPERS major claim to fa me is driving out all the REGULARs
(Malay, Chinese & Indian) and the white expatriates from Bangsar by large
quantities, so much so that they can now call Bangsar "home".
3) MACHA's
The last and largest group of Indians in the country comes from the MACHA
group. Probably the most famous group, it is so well known that most
Malaysians think ALL Indians are from the MACHA group. Comprising nearly
70% of the Indian population in M'sia, the MACHAS can be found in urban
parts of the cities, and also in estates.
Their characteristics include:
1. Speaks Tamil as their 1st language
2. Sees Tamil Nadu/Madras ( India ) as the place to be.
3. Astro at home is hardwired to Astro Vaanavil.
4. Worship Bollywood films. The men openly desire to be like Rajnikanth or
their favourite Indian star.
5. A night-out will have to include a stop at any Indian shop in
Brickfields. The shopping haven will have to be Jalan Masjid India .
6. Know all the Tamil songs by heart and ha s never heard of Hitz.FM
7. For men, outfit is never complete without a gold chain. Women prefer to
spend their life-savings on gold jewelry and gaudy sarees.
8. Half of them aspire to be doctors; the other half, their parents want
them to be doctors. The bright ones become the pride of all Indians in the
country when they enter UM for medicine, the less fortunate go to AIMST. Ma
ny more attain paradise and have their dreams come true when allowed to go
off to India (most of the time Manipal) to do medicine. Most just drop-out
of school and contribute to social-problem areas in the country.
9. Loves Samy Vellu.
So, which group do YOU belong to? ;-) |
At 10:27 AM,
1. i never wanted to be a doctor.
2. parents encourage me to do what i want to do.
3. im not into politics but i dont like sammy vellu.
4. i try to speak as much tamil as i can but everyone seems to tell me not to pollute the language.
5. wish i had gotten a scholarship and gone overseas (preferably uk)
i cant quite find where i belong!
At 4:40 PM,
Dood, I am exactly the same as Chino ! Maybe we need a catagory for people like us.
At 2:04 PM,
lol, i learned something new. It's true that the Indian community in Sarawak is very small, i dunno about Sabah though. That's y we dun have holiday for Deepavali. sad......But in Kuching, we have 2 Indian temples within the proximity of erm.........mayb less than 10km, well, i just know these 2 temples because it's situated in the town centre, there might be more.
At 10:47 PM,
hehehe...i've got this e-mail also from a fren who is doing medicine in ukraine...and he told me dat he is the regular type who is stayin wit parents who r the macha's type...sad but true....lots of indian frens that i've come to know from school or even college...they are mostly none of this categories but mixture of all...but usually end up wit parents who r the macha's type... u know the typical...ch.6 vaanavil and indian serial/movie/drama's...
actually, my own experience is stayin wit a girl who watches tamil drama/serial/movies and i have to use the word here she is 'addicted' to it...ever since this people hv astro here its like every nite from 7-8 and then 9-10.30pm...she'll be there watchin serials...damn...but the best part of it is she loves to go clubbing..and obviously tries to speak english and tries to make it look like her 1st language...