Finally, i think i managed to shrug off the sadness in me. woohooo. I have been going out less with the guys (u know who), but we still keep in contact with each other. The thing that really changed my mind is that.....erm.......how to put it, let's just say, i think (just my hunch) i have been used just as a last resort by a certain someone. Meaning that if there is nothing BETTER to do, then will only look for me. something like that. but i cant really judge how true it is. Remember, i m oversensitive in those days and have been like that, a bit temperamental too. So it just be i m not thinking rationally. But there is more to it than just me being the last option, just to mention one. Sometime, i feel i m almost invisible. At times, i just felt to walk away from the table we sat and just leave the place without any comments but i think this is plain rude. Been storing the frustration for sometime and i m glad i have not exploded yet, guess i m still sane, mwhahaah. Been going out mostly solo, or meet with whom i wan to meet, go to places i like to go, go to eat whatever i like to eat, do what i like to do, blah blah blah and so on. I m so happy now, being able to break the chain that chained my joy.
Oh, before i forget, this is NOT the first time i experienced something like this, there has been numerous occasions and in those occasions, i can easily put everything away. But ths time it's different, i cant explain y, but it's different, that is y i m so depressed. But alas, it's all over now ^^. And in my past experience, these people NOW are changed. It's not that i dun wan to become fren by eluding, but it's my desire to become fren, cause i dun wan something bad happens that may deteriorate the frenship. That is just my way (i can think of), talking wont do any good, that for sure, it's useless. So, i have to use some action. Talking honestly may sometime jeopardize everything that is built over time in an instant.
gtg. going out now. everybody, please have fun ^^ |
